Earth Rent

What's an "Egg Drop"?

Well, to quote the folks at "It is the most exciting version of the traditional Easter Egg Hunt you can find. Tens of thousands of plastic eggs, filled with candy, will be dropped from a helicopter onto a grass field."  Oh, super.

Here's a shot from an Egg Drop in Lake Highland, Texas. 

Here's a shot from an Egg Drop in Lake Highland, Texas. 

Agghhhh, I'm going to sound like such a party pooper here, but big surprise; I'm a party pooper.  Dropping thousands of plastic, candy filled eggs from a HELICOPTER?  Between stunts like these, and another genius marketing event known as a "balloon release", I must take a moment to take stock of what we as a people of earth do in the name of celebration.

We're the worst.

Even though they litter in opposite directions, Egg Drops and Balloon Releases don't cancel each other out, I checked.

I keep coming back to what feels to me like a legitimate question: What right does a person or company have to voluntarily cause great harm, arguably permanent harm, to the environment, to OUR environment? To our land, our oceans, our animals, our food supply?

I can't wrap my head around it. We know for a fact that plastic never goes "away", once it's chemically blended and formed, it's here forever - from sandwich bags to straws, beach buckets to plastic Easter eggs, like forever-forever.  So why are we allowed to make disposable stuff out of it? Disposable plastics should be obscenely expensive. Call it the "Oh, you want a disposable plastic fork? Okay, but you're required to pay for the space it will take up after you use it for a whole twenty minutes" tax.   Let's see, that's the cost of the petroleum based fork, so $5.00 for that, and another $25.00 of earth-rent for the spot in the ocean where it will continue to float around for decades after you're dead. And honestly, that's a bargain - we'll be generous and only charge you for 100 years worth of earth-rent - that's a mere .25 cents a year. Oh, and we have to add on the "Just in Case" fee - the one for just in case your stupid fork ends up in the stomach of an albatross or a whale, contributing to the animals painful and untimely death.  At $30 plus bucks a pop, I don't think I'd be finding many forks lying around.

Oh!  This is my 1 hour plastic-trawl-haul from a local park a few days after Easter - No Helicopter Egg drop here, but it was these broken egg-shards I found on the field that got me thinking about the absurdity of how plasticized modern day celebrations have become.